


remus lupin wanted to be a literature professor. instead, he's stuck here

by DarlingImpi



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Group chat, Might not, No Plot/Plotless, Nobody Else Does, Pranks, Remus Lupin knows grammar, Slow Burn, Texting, doing this, it's 2021 and here i am, let it die, might show up, oh boy, text fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:15:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28697553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarlingImpi/pseuds/DarlingImpi
Summary: (9:13) seriously: ur a mastermind(9:13) Reemy: I pay attention in school.(9:15) sTaGparTY: …(9:15) Wormburger: …(9:15) seriously: …(9:16) sTaGparTY: savage
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	remus lupin wanted to be a literature professor. instead, he's stuck here

**Author's Note:**

> this is not a serious fic. at all. at all. it's not crack, but i'm literally just writing this whenever i feel like it, with no specific plot in mind. it just is what it is. go with the flow.

Operation: Operation  
**Today** 2:46 PM  
**Cat_lover395** has been added to the group.  
Uh, what's this?  
sTaGparTY  
wait who are you  
Probably the wrong number.  
Who added me?  
seriously  
i did  
but i'm guessing ur not prof mcgoogoo  
unless mcgoogoo changed her pfp to a teenage schoolboy  
Who, now?  
sTaGparTY  
well there goes that plot  
nice going genius  
Wormburger  
ii'm not going to bail you out of whatever schemes you've cooked up. this is on you  
seriously  
you couldnt bail ur way out of a paper bag, peeeeeter  
sTaGparTY  
guys. guyss  
we're going to have to come up with something else since SOMEBODY couldnt get his ONE JOB right  
seriously  
look ur not inncent either mister  
mr. im gonna go throw 'eggs' at The Slug  
Wormburger  
james that was you? i'm honestly surprised. i had sirius pegged for it  
seriously  
no im a masterming i would never do something that wEAK  
we need to plan our next mission  
sTaGparTY  
or see if we can get this one back on track  
seriously  
no no no its lost its creativity now  
Out of an unfortunate curiosity, what exactly were you planning to do?  
Wormburger  
well, we were gOING TO add our english teacher to this group  
seriously  
and spam her with cat pics!!!!  
sTaGparTY  
and then, when she's so overwhelmed with all the cute  
sTaGparTY  
sirius and i were gonna break into her office and glue all the writing utensils to the ceiling  
No, that is pretty weak. I'm unimpressed.  
seriously  
hey! u would think its great if u knew just who our english teacher was  
Apparently someone named "McGoogoo."  
Wormburger  
no, it's McGonagall  
Good, because I was debating whether someone named that would actually tolerate existence.  
seriously  
whoa there  
thats a lot of fancy sentencing  
can u just say its a wierd name  
pls  
Fine.  
It's a weird name.  
Wormburger  
guys you might wanna put the phones away, I think slughorn sees you  
....Slughorn?  
Right, well.  
As much fun as it’s been meeting you....guys, I’m going to....see myself out.  
**Cat_lover395** has left the group.  
**Cat_lover395** has been added to the group.  
seriously  
sorry bucko but ur not allowed to leave  
u know of our crimes  
ur one of us forever  
Wait, what?  
I don't know anything! I'm innocent!  
sTaGparTY  
nobody's ever truly innocent  
Wormburger  
the fact that that's what you go to immediately defend suggests that your not  
You're*  
Sorry.  
Wormburger  
i mean its better that you can spell than being an “illiterate dunderhead”  
like he's one to talk  
wtf is a dunderhead???  
seriously  
right?????  
That sounds oddly specific.  
seriously  
yeah theres this kid in our school who likes saying that a lot  
superiority complex much?  
its ok tho. nobody likes him  
Wormburger  
plus his hair's always greasier than the fryer at a mcdonalds  
its horrifying  
seriously  
i think he actually bathes in it on the dl  
I really didn't want to imagine that.  
So thank you.  
seriously  
ur quite welcome  
**Today** 8:27 PM  
sTaGparTY  
wow the convo's really dead whatd i miss?  
seriously  
nothing rlly catboys not very talkative  
Catboy????  
Wormburger  
how was detentioon? ;)  
sTaGparTY  
it was your fault so fuck off peet  
Is that language really necessary?  
**Cat_lover395** 's name has been changed to **Old_Geezer**.  
Wow, thanks.  
I'm going to bed. Bye, guys.  
**Old_Geezer** has left the group.  
**Old_Geezer** has been added to the group.  
**Old_Geezer** 's name has been changed to **Wet_Blanket**.  
.....  
Listen, I don't get what you're trying to do. I was having a fine day, and then you hooligans added me to this group. Can't I just go???  
sTaGparTY  
you say hooligan but you know at heart you are one  
release your inner child  
He's released. Now can I do the same?  
sTaGparTY  
not ntil u tell us ur name  
cat luvrrrr  
seriously  
shhhh  
dont fight it  
Remus.  
**Wet_Blanket** 's name has been changed to **Reemy**.  
Charming. And now...?  
seriously  
*dramatic sigh* if u MUST  
ill just wait like a widow at the window  
longingly  
Am I being guilt-tripped?  
sTaGparTY  
absolutely not. we'd never do such a.... thing  
Wormburger  
you're free to do whatever you want  
seriously  
our emotions dont matter in this  
This is like talking to the Three Stooges.  
seriously  
!!!!!!  
Wormburger  
oh good going  
sirius is sobbing now  
look what you've done  
I stand by my statement.  
Out of curiosity, though, what do you have against your poor professor anyways?  
sTaGparTY  
nothing except she gave siri detention for something snivellus did  
el señor superiority complex  
So you decided on passive-aggressive revenge?  
Wormburger  
what would you of done?  
Oh, ouch.  
Wormburger  
?  
Nothing. Anyways, what I would have done is dig up enough evidence on this "Snivellus" and either frame him for something you did -I'm guessing these behaviours are not a one-off thing- or let himself dig his own pit.  
seriously  
no thats actually pretty decent  
ur a mastermind  
I pay attention in school.  
sTaGparTY  
...  
Wormburger  
...  
seriously  
...  
sTaGparTY  
savage  



End file.
